This is a Manifest

As any serious journalist ventures into the world of journalisting, it becomes necessary to create a Citizen Kane-esque manifesto, a statement of principles and a declaration of intent to the public, as they are such an awesome public that they deserve something like that. I AM THE PRESS is no exception.

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MANIFEST 1: PREQUEL TO NOTHING

I. The News Will Not Lie Unless Necessary, Convenient, Funny, or Thursday.

II. The News Will Be Maintained Regularly or, Failing that, Semi-Regularly. Failing that, the News Will Not be Maintained Regularly.

III. The Press Will Wear A Hat While Newsing. The Press is Wearing a Hat Right Now, the Press Wishes You Could See it, Damn the Hat is Cool.

IIII. The Press Will Remain Neutral on All Issues, Even if One Side is Being a Dick and Deserves it but all the Other Sides are too Afraid to Tell it So.

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This blog will strive to fulfill these ideals so that all readers can something something.