REDDING, CT – A not-particularly landmark court case has reached the third district court of Redding. In the case of Persistent v Vegetative State, the defendant , Andrew Life, was trying to make it absolutely clear that he needed the tubes that the plaintiff, Dr. Euthanasia, was trying to take from him.
Euthanasia’s argument was that Life didn’t need the tubes, which he had only loaned to Life following a tragic accident at a concert by the band “This is Real I’m So Damn Serious Right Now.” Life was being sustained by using the tubes as a conveyance system for food, as he had TEMPORARILY lost most of his motor skills.
The trial will likely be short. Judge Meddler was quoted as saying, “I don’t know why Life is being threatened in my court, as clearly Euthanasia is just wrong. He has no legal standing, and I disagree with him on moral grounds.” However, Some other parties, specifically Lib Eral Media, local hippie, and Fox Propé Ganda, local crackpot, have taken the fight to a larger audience.
Most pundits assume the trial will be thrown out, and MIRANDA I SWEAR TO GOD IF I’M EVER PUT ON MACHINES YOU KEEP ME ON THEM FOREVER TELL THE KIDS I’M ON A BUSINESS TRIP will address the court on Thursday.
