Town Plagued by Striped Terror

Little Bend, SD – Multiple sightings have been reported over the past few weeks, in Little Bend, South Dakota, of a creature that cannot be immediately identified by zoologists. Witnesses have described the creature as something resembling a human, appearing only briefly, clad in stripes, and disappearing into crowds, or barber-pole factories.

Crypto-zoologists have been called to the scene (including one authority on the subject, Martin Handford), to see if any validity can be leant to the local rumors. Folk-lore from the area names the creature an Odlaw. The creatures of myth were said to appear to youngsters, cleverly hidden in plain sight, with no real purpose or motivation. Eventually, children would learn of their hiding places (which never changed) and would speed through, just to get to the end.

The Odlaw has been seen in various iterations, including female and dog-shaped. Speculation on this creature has abounded ever since the first Yllaw (Odlaw’s British cousin) was captured alive last year.

I AM THE PRESS would like to thank amateur photographer Rachel Spiegelman for her candid photo of the beast.