November 14, 2009

Champ Bailey Called For Inexcessive Celebration


Pittsburgh, PA -- Denver Broncos cornerback Roland "Champ" Bailey was fined $10,000 Sunday in his game against the Pittsburgh Steelers for what referees are calling “inexcessive celebration”, for running a 65-yard touchdown after an interception in the fourth quarter. Upon completing the touchdown, Bailey calmly placed the ball on the ground and returned to his team, where mild congratulations were exchanged between the defensive secondary.

Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin calls this a flagrant act of unsportsmanlike conduct. “My boys are playing hard out there, and that was an amazing interception. To not show any hint of celebration is a terrible offense to the players who are trying their hardest, like it was nothing.”

Fans are equally outraged. “No Lambeau Leap, no funky chicken, nothing,” complained lifelong Steelers fan Vince Johnson. “And after what Brian Celek did last week with Captain Morgan, it’s just shameful.”

Broncos head coach Josh McDaniels has come out in defense of the cornerback. “It’s time to end the ‘inexcessive celebration’ rule. This is an issue that strikes at the very roots of the sport we all love. When a player makes an amazing catch or runs an impressive return, he has EARNED the right to be a little humble.”

McDaniels also presented a brief statement from Bailey, which simply stated that the player was sorry for any offense he had given, and was prepared to quietly pay the fine and let the matter settle, adding fuel to the anger of Steelers fans everywhere.

“This insult is disgraceful,” said Steelers wide-receiver Santonio Holmes, who was the intended receiver of the pass Bailey intercepted. “If Bailey doesn’t own up and at least tell us to fuck off, he’s lost all integrity as a professional athlete.”

John Madden could not be reached for comment because he has absolutely nothing to do with this story.

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